Destination Success Read online

  © 2003 by Dwight Bain

  Published by Revell

  a division of Baker Publishing Group

  P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

  www.revellbooks.com

  Spire edition published 2009

  Ebook edition created 2012

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

  ISBN 978-1-4412-1244-3

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

  Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

  Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

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  Scripture marked TLB is taken from The Living Bible, copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

  The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.

  Leaders praise Destination Success for bringing you practical coaching results

  “Destination Success is a fresh approach to balancing your life using humor, stories, and practical exercises to overcome obstacles that handicap us from our dreams.”

  Mark Victor Hansen, co-creator, #1 New York Times

  bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul®;

  co-author, The One Minute Millionaire

  “Dwight Bain is one of the most encouraging men I know. Just being around him makes me feel that I can be better and live higher. Thousands have been motivated by listening to him teach. Now a book…and it should be no surprise that Destination Success reflects the power and enthusiasm of the writer. Read this book. You’ll thank me for recommending it to you.”

  Steve Brown, bestselling author and host

  of Key Life Radio Network

  “Destination Success is truly destined to be one of the classics in achieving success in life. My friend Dwight Bain writes in a clear, precise, and compelling fashion, and when you’re finished reading this book your life will never be the same.”

  Pat Williams, bestselling author; senior VP,

  The Orlando Magic

  “In Destination Success, Dwight Bain shows how you can live your dreams even when life’s unsuspected blows bring great setbacks. Dwight’s keen insights set you on a course for success.”

  Steve Arterburn, bestselling author; founder of

  New Life Clinics & Women of Faith conferences

  “In athletics, the best coaches are often those who previously succeeded as players by understanding, mastering, and applying the game’s fundamentals. They were the player who made his teammates better. Dwight has played the game and in Destination Success he shows you how to win. His practical, achievable strategies for success will get you going in the right direction.”

  Bob Ban de Pol, PhD, president

  of Crisis Care Network

  “Perhaps the most impressive thing about Destination Success was the climactic ending. He built a solid case for success as a journey throughout the twelve chapters and topped it off perfectly at the conclusion. Success not only as a journey but also as a process is another strong theme of the book. I strongly recommend this book to success seekers. It will feed your soul with good nutrition.”

  Dr. W. G. Covington Jr., Amazon.com

  Top 1000 Reviewer

  To Clint and May Bain,

  my dear Mom and Dad

  You taught me about lasting success;

  then you showed me the way.

  I am forever grateful.

  I honor you by teaching

  and showing others.

  I love you both and am so

  grateful that we are friends.

  CONTENTS

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Endorsements

  Dedication

  Foreword by John C. Maxwell

  Introduction

  Part 1 The Success Focus

  1. Secret #1: Defining What Success Means to You

  2. Envisioning Success

  3. Secret #2: Finding Success Every Day

  4. What to Do with the Elvis in You

  Part 2 The Success Fear

  5. Facing Your Success Fears

  6. Secret #3: Building Success by Mastering Yourself

  7. Self-Sabotage—The Most Dangerous Part of You

  8. Secret #4: Developing Personal Discipline to Discover Your Destiny

  Part 3 The Success Formula

  9. Secret #5: Belief—Finding Your Hidden Source of Inner Strength

  10. Secret #6: Opportunity—Discovering Your Success Magnet

  11. Secret #7: Excellence—Living the Life You’ve Always Wanted

  12. Success Seekers Keep Climbing

  Notes

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  FOREWORD

  Several years ago I challenged my friend Dwight Bain to write this book. After discussing leadership and team-building principles with him, I knew that his insights would be helpful to many people on their personal journey of success.

  For thirty years I have taught people that success is not a one-time destination, but rather a lifetime journey. You will never get to that place where you finally “have it all” and no longer need to reach further. But each day you have the choice to continue growing and developing into the type of person you were designed to be, living at a new level. In this book, Dwight will act as your personal success coach to carefully guide you and lead you on a new path as you begin to live out your dreams.

  I first met Dwight in Denver during a radio interview that was supposed to last for only ten minutes but went on until we ran out of tape! I discovered that Dwight was a creative and fun communicator, and we became friends as I mentored him in leadership. Then a wonderful thing happened. Dwight began sharing insights and illustrations with me from his own research, which he uses for radio, television, and personal speaking engagements. Each week he sends me a fax or email with new quotes and stories. As a writer, speaker, and business owner, I have benefited from his eye for great stories and wonderful illustrations that are easy to apply to daily living.

  Dwight has an amazing ability to quickly assimilate ideas from the many experts he has interviewed and from the nuggets of wisdom he has gained from coaching and counseling thousands of people over the last twenty years. Your personal success journey will be enriched and strengthened as you learn and master the seven secrets of success Dwight shares in this book. They are a result of the years he has spent talking to leaders from around the world.

  Recently Dwight was in Atlanta with me, and we spoke to a group of leadership coaches. During one of the sessions, Dwight shared an exciting concept from this book, the “Successful Life Formula.” It is designed to help you instantly know where you are and what you need to be working on to experience the quality of life you desire. I could feel the excitement in the room as the audience began to discover their own areas of strength and weakness within just a few minutes. From this exercise they were able to identify exactly which areas they needed to develop in order to focus on living a
t a new level of success. Dwight’s success formula can also help you to discover where you are in contrast with where you want to be on your own success journey.

  I know that Dwight can lead you to a new level, one that includes a balanced and healthier way of living. You will learn how to overcome your success fears, find the success that is available to you right now, and be encouraged to continue on toward a life of lasting success. I look forward to hearing about your successes as you begin to live out your dreams.

  All the best to you as you uncover the secrets to a better way of life!

  John C. Maxwell, Founder

  The Injoy Group

  Atlanta

  INTRODUCTION

  Have you ever wondered why you aren’t more successful? Have you had the same thought about a business associate, friend, or family member who seems to have much potential yet is never really successful at anything? I sure have, and I have seen some amazing contrasts. People with virtually no ability to become successful have seemingly done the impossible, while others who appear to be loaded with looks, money, and talent never seem to get it together. They look like they have it all yet never really experience lasting success.

  Are You as Successful as You Want to Be?

  I have studied the lives of thousands of people over the last two decades as a success coach and counselor. I saw two remarkable distinctions between those who were really living the life they wanted and others who never quite reached their dreams. One group, a very small group, always seemed to win in spite of the odds. They had mastered what I came to view as “success secrets.” A much larger group seemingly had an L imprinted on their foreheads as though they were destined to lose. It seemed they were programmed to fail at everything and never achieve lasting success. I have heard hundreds of excuses from this L group. Listen to some recent explanations about why these people never “made it,” and see if any of these apply to you or the people in your world.

  “I just wasn’t smart enough.”

  “When our business failed, it was over for us.”

  “I married the wrong woman, and she ruined my life.”

  “It was the alcohol. One day it just took over.”

  “My sister got all the breaks. Mom liked her more than me.”

  “It was my weight, and no one will give a fat person a chance.”

  “I was always at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

  “I screwed up my life in college and just never got over it.”

  “I just never had a chance to be successful.”

  “I guess I’m just not lucky.”

  Do you hear the common theme in these explanations about failure in life? Notice the feelings of being totally out of control. Listen to the blame shifting, the avoidance, the escapism as well as the pity. It’s no wonder people who think and talk this way fail. There are several reasons people hide behind excuses to explain their lack of success in life.

  They tell lies to cover up their failures instead of facing them.

  They failed so many times that it hurts to even think about trying again.

  They never think about the real issues causing their empty life.

  They are asleep, unconscious of the fact that life is going on around them.

  They are in serious denial about what is missing in their life.

  They never had a coach or mentor to guide them onto a path of success.

  They gave up on a better life.

  I suspect that it may be a little bit of each of these, yet I discovered some tremendous insights from working with thousands of people overcoming serious difficulties. Problems, pressure, and panic caused one group to give up on their dreams of success while serving as hidden sources of energy for the successful to live out their dreams. I saw the group with the “secrets of success” crash through the very roadblocks that limited or handicapped others. Those who knew the secrets had a significantly better quality of life.

  What about you? Are you in the small group who live out their dreams and experience success after success, or is your life checkered by failure after failure? Once you answer that question, here’s another.

  Do You Get Stronger during Difficult Times?

  In the lives I studied, I noticed that some people faced difficult situations and got weaker, which seemed normal until I noticed others going through identical circumstances who toughened up to become amazingly successful. They lived at a higher level. It was almost as if the problems and stress gave them a shot of turbo-charged fuel to move up to a higher level. When people mastered these secrets, they too had this hidden source of power to live out the life they wanted. Their age, education, or socioeconomic class didn’t matter. And their past didn’t matter as much as the personal realization that they could live out their hopes and dreams. So consider this question.

  Could This Be Your Time to Discover Lasting Success?

  I enjoy seeing people come alive when they discover and apply the secrets of success. I love it when coaching clients “get it,” when the lightbulb in their mind illuminates with the insight of how to be successful instead of having to face one more crisis, one more failure, one more loss, or one more breakdown. It is always an adventure, and sometimes the most unlikely are the very ones who grasp the secrets of success, apply them, and achieve a quality of life that surprises everyone—everyone but them, that is. Where did they find the fountain of wisdom that allows them to have the unshakable confidence to accomplish their dreams when the majority of people around them seem to be failing?

  If you take an honest look at your own life, you will likely see a common pattern in your behavior. The same principle is true of your personal or professional life or of the history of your business, friends, or family. Track the events over time, and it will appear as if there was a mental radar that led straight to another failed relationship, business venture, or personal crisis. Even if your best friend got in your face and begged you to stop, you may have gone over the edge one more time. Like a movie script that predicted a series of breakdowns and failures, you fell down right on cue.

  Isn’t It Time to Rewrite the Script?

  So how can you undo the dangerous flaws that set you up to fail and reverse the process to set yourself up to win? Simple: You have to master the seven secrets of success, the essential beliefs and behaviors practiced by the most successful people in our culture. These elements are usually overlooked and rarely used, which is why I call them secrets. When uncovered and practiced, however, these secrets lead to a significantly better quality of life. Since you and I know that you need to make some radical changes to experience lasting success, let’s get started in the direction of your dreams. Our new destination: success! Let’s take action to experience the quality of life you have always wanted to live. Let’s work together to rewrite the script of your life to include lasting success this time around.

  I am going to serve as your personal success coach to guide you past the subtle dangers that have been stealing your creative ability to think successfully. Together we will discover and disarm other dangers that have either blocked or seemingly eliminated the incredible things available to you. If you will allow me, I can lead you onto the pathway of success that you have been missing. If not, you may be stuck on a dead-end road without a plan and doomed to miss out on the life that you could have experienced. It’s time to choose what kind of life you are going to have. I believe it’s time for you to choose success.

  This book will get you moving toward a more successful way of living. We will journey through seven secrets and arrive at the final destination, becoming a “success seeker,” a person who has mastered the seven secrets. A success seeker has learned how to find success every day and gone on to share it with others. The map outlined in Destination Success will guide you into living at a higher level, experiencing a better life than you previously imagined. As we partner together, I will challenge your thinking, especially on what lasting success means. Our goal is to achieve positive results in the
areas of life that matter most to you.

  The first part of our journey together is to discover more success in your life. I call the secrets contained in this part of our trip the “success focus.” We will flesh out a clear definition of what success looks like to you at this stage of life. These secrets will help you avoid spending your time and energy on activities that don’t move you toward the quality of life you desire. If your goal is to feel successful every day, you must master the ability to find success. Learning these secrets will help you do that.

  Then we will partner together to discover success you thought was lost. This is the second part of Destination Success, where we will face and disarm your success fear. This area is the biggest roadblock to fulfillment of one’s dreams. The secrets in this section will guide you away from repeating a self-destructive pattern of behavior in your personal life or business. This is the most exciting part for me, because I will teach you how to stretch your old roadblocks into a new shape to become the bridge to a new level of success. Think of it! We are going to move beyond the mistakes to a new level of accomplishment in your business, finances, and personal relationships.

  Most important is the third aspect, the “success formula,” where we will build some daily routines that, when practiced, will allow you to live out more success every single day. I have seen this formula work for thousands of people, and it will work for you as well. When you remove the roadblocks to success, you won’t find this formula difficult to apply. As you live out the seven secrets, you will not only be better equipped for success, you will begin to experience the quality of life that only success seekers experience. The good news is that the path is open and available to anyone who will take the journey to arrive at a destination called “success”!

  Are you ready to move toward success?

  Then let’s go!

  PART 1

  THE SUCCESS FOCUS

  To laugh often and much;